sauce audit

"hey, you should sauce audit that burger or you're going to ruin that new sweater..."

like a tax audit, only tastier - and less jail time

gloop check

Let me perform a quick gloop check before I get ketchup on my white pants

Sauxiety

"Pronounced:sauce-it-ee"

Sauce anxiety?

itch ripple

"I'd ask you to scratch my back, but you'd just have to keep going cause i get itch ripple real bad."

pretty self-explanitory

Itchsplosion

I scratched one itch and it turned into a total itchplosion!

Itchsurgency

I totally uncovered an itchsurgency yesterday after scratching my arm

Brain Lag

I was worried I'd never remember what I was going to say about your mom, but it was just brain lag.

Neuron Rebound

"I have these neuron rebounds all the time, but I never really forget what I was going to say."

The Neurons in the brain rebound.

Caboose

"Oh, it feels so good to caboose back up to a train of thought, I almost forgot that story!"

Engines in the trainyard ride around to the back of the train of cars, caboosing them into place.

Newton's apple

"I was about to make the best play ever in Words With Friends and totally Newton's appled myself. "

We've all heard the story of Newton getting hit on the head by a falling apple and how it became the basis for his physics theories etc . . .

Gravity Check

"*Drop* Ow. Well, at least we passed the gravity check. That's gonna leave a mark."

I don't know.

phone-faced

My hands were all greasy from lubing up for fapping and I wound up phone-facing while checking if I had any messages on eHarmony.

Assmosis

We followed a two-hour meeting. Thankfully, that Ted's assmosis just warmed the seat and was not odoriferous.

Thermal Assduction

He transferred his ass warmth to me via thermal Assduction.

Assclimatisation

The guy before me must have been there for ages - took me a while to assclimatise .

Timenesia

The condition whereby a person, having just looked at the time, will inevitably forget what they have just seen. This usually necessitates a re check of the watch.

goldfish syndrome

the inability to remember anything for longer than three seconds.

Horologic Amnesia

According to Google, Horologium means "Clock",so I thought Horologic Amnesia might translate to "Clock Amnesia".

Hermit Rant

Adam went on a long hermit rant about how bad congressional term limits are until Jen pointed out that they don't exist.

rando-rant

"Aunt Jeanie got drunk at Christmas and went on a rando-rant about the benefits of pot."

Random + Rant

Tiraiding

"So, we're all hanging out, having a good time, then Jimmy just starts tiraiding on and on about TPS reports."

Tirade + Raiding

say ja vu

I totally just said that exact same thing right before the broadcaster said it!

Déjà dit

"Ha! Did you hear me déjà dit that. Nailed it!"

French for "already said"

televinesis

I got televinesis when Clark Howard said: Rip-Off

Hunger games

Out now on DVD and Bluray

Pizzamath

"Uhhhh... what is the pizzamath on this last slice here guys?"

Pizzamath can be used in so many different ways that it begins to take on the meaning of all INTERNAL and PERSONAL equations we make as hungry human beings, specifically when pizza is involved.

Pizza Peril

That last slice is in major Pizza Peril

snart

Man I snarted in front of everyone today

double-pipe

Accidentally double-piped in church... echoed everywhere!

Double-ended

Man I was so embarrassed today, I double-ended in front of management !